on depression

and there will be days where all of a sudden there is no such thing as an emotion, whereas dreams become clouded and the smile you once had seeing the rays of light after a storm becomes nothing but a stoic face

and the neighborhood you once ran across for fitness becomes the one thing you avoid, so you turn to the only emptiness to comfort the darkness

whether it’s a pitch black day underneath your eyelids, a bottle or two of wine, or the sounds of your own heart beating itself to sleep, you have the bleak stare of the gray  peaking beyond the shadows

sometimes farther than usual
sometimes closer than the sun

kindness on a thursday

catching the 7:03am bus to work
right as your eyes are adjusting to the lights
the heavy glass doors opened
and are followed by a smile by the driver
and the passenger talking with her
as you climb onboard
and tap your card to pay your fare

a spontaneous trip after work to a quaint park
with a waterfall and a fence under construction
and feeling the breeze on your face
and a grip around your waist tightening closer
to your newfound partner
as he pulls you in closer for a romantic kiss
between two trees where you used to
calm yourself when you cried on your lunch break

between the brush strokes on the blank canvas
and a few drunken laughs about monet’s water lillies
during a hip night in the basement of a restaurant
with your coworkers and other pals
you see your refilled glass of wine
and remember

there isn’t a hideous enough monster
to send you a grin, ugly and all
or squander your soul
that can destroy the beauty you’ve noticed
or the empathy you’ve built
through that constant, troubled blaze
because what you have is the solitude of your own desires

10.31.2015 9:38am

through all the constant grief
and the brooding walks bypassing the alleyways
on the way to work
i envisioned souls not crying down the bustling main streets
and the security of the soothing breeze
prickling skin on their arms through the knit sweater they wore
to avoid the shaky winds brought on by the night

and between the impromptu bus trips across the state
and the subtle romance caught between passenger seats
of separate cars while at a stop sign
and the dark mysterious timing surrounding them,
the perseverance topples down
thus being forced back into the dark of the street
gawked at
rancid inside
mediocre, and all

inferior
passable for living

Monday

My favoeite shirt was dirty this morning
It was a Monday

Forgot lunch at home
I hope the dogs didn’t get to it

My appetite is faint
Why did I order this

I’m just going to drink coffee instead
Anyway.

I got stood up today
It was a Monday afternoon

It was our second date
I hope I didn’t do anything wrong

My toes are crushed in these shoes
They’ll be scabbard tomorrow

Walking a mile and a half to the train
I’m ready to call it a night

I’m laying in bed tonight
It’s a Monday night